Friday, October 31, 2008

Down in the Dumps

Many years ago a young Midwestern lawyer suffered from such deep depression that his friends thought it best to keep all knives and razors out of his reach. He questioned his life’s calling and the prudence of even attempting to follow it through. During this time he wrote, "I am now the most miserable man living. Whether I shall ever be better, I cannot tell. I awfully forebode I shall not." But somehow, from somewhere, Abraham Lincoln received the encouragement he needed, and the achievements of his life thoroughly vindicated his bout with discouragement.

Fellow princess warriors, do you ever get tired of fighting? Ever feel like you just can't take one more thing? You are not alone.

I usually try to be very encouraging on this blog. But, I'll let you in on a little secret. Sometimes it's me who needs to hear the encouraging words that I write. Talk about getting a message from God. It goes something like this ... "Carol, my precious daughter, remember, practice what you preach." He wants me to walk out His words, not just write them.

Just in case you thought I might "have it together" let me share the few THINGS that got me down in the dumps this past week or so.

1. Computer crashed
2. Car problems
3. Roof shingles falling off in wind
4. Me with the flu for over a week. Headache, body aches, stomach aches, lots of aches.
5. Frame around front door breaking off
6. Daughter displaying some major behavioral issues
7. Son home with the flu, too
8. A barrage of negative thoughts that were bombarding my mind because I didn't act very princess-like in response to my many inconveniences. A lot of broken stuff doesn't gel well when you are feeling your pocket book squeeze tight ... really, really tight

Ladies, although these "things" were /are not life threatening, they are frustrating. When they happen all at once. Well, they're at the very least, a threat to your sanity on some level.

Then this little ole princess warrior (that would be me again) gets hung up in her pride. Yep, me who preaches grace, forgiveness, reaching out to others ... etc. Is embarrassed to let people love her. Asking for help can be hard. It certainly is humbling when you suddenly realize that you've been plastering on the fake smile and pretending everything is f-i-n-e fine.

By yesterday, I was drowning down in the dumps. Today, thankfully, I'm feeling a tad bit better physically, but still not 100 percent. I was driving a long and my favorite worship song comes on. "My God is mighty to save, mighty to save ... He can move mountains, He's mighty to save, Jesus is mighty to save ...

I feel the Spirit starting to move and that ever-familiar feeling of gratitude and love for my King is growing and I'm starting to glow. Then out of the blue The Voice, you know the one, speaks into my thoughts with such force I almost believe it's audible.

"You don't deserve God. You shouldn't even be worshiping Him after your unbelief this week."

Right then, I'd had enough. Enough of the devil and his snide and tormenting comments. I yell (yes, I'm still driving) "ENOUGH! I belong to the King. I am forgiven. So, get lost!" Then the tears came and I was able to worship God with complete abandon. (As much abandon as you can have while semi-safely operating a vehicle during rush hour).

I share this little piece of me to ask for your prayers and to encourage you to hang in there if you, too, are feeling down in the dumps. That old saying: This too shall pass, is so very true. It was a long hard week, but, today, at last, I feel renewed. My God does move mountains and He is mighty to save. I still don't have enough money, things are still broken, but, hey, things could be so much worse.

Yes, I felt like throwing in the towel, whatever that might have entailed, but I didn't. Look at good ole Abe Lincoln. Apparently, he was down in the dumps and depressed, too. Thankfully, he didn't give up either and went on to make history.

We've got our own history to make, ladies. So, let's tell the devil to get lost and lift each other up in prayer, always remembering that Jesus is more than enough for us.

God bless you!


Hope said...

WOW Thank you for sharing! I just discovered your blog and I am thrilled that there are other Princesses out there willing to admit not so princessy behavior all the while encouraging the rest of us to keep truckin! Praise God for you :)

God's Girl said...

Oh yes... Discouragement is one of those tools the enemy pulls out often. It comes in all forms (as you described).

I pray for you, my sweet sister, that the Lord encourages you in the deepest places of your heart. I pray that the Holy Spirit reminds you of the incredible love the Father has for you and He only allows those things that will grow you more into His image into your life.

May you be blessed as you bless so many! May you be encouraged as you encourage so many!