Wearing Beauty and Modesty: No more masks!

I just love the above painting of Ruth.

Again, the following entry has been adapted from Real Women Don't Wear Masks, Carol Van Atta and Dr. Kathy Rodriguez (not yet published)

Precious Princess Warriors for Christ, we have finally arrived at our last entry about the Seductive Mask. Hopefully, the following entry will give you insight and encouragement for removing the seductive mask and the amazing benefits of instead putting on Beauty and Modesty. God bless you.

Wearing Beauty and Modesty

When you hear the word beauty, what comes to mind? Do you envision an airbrushed supermodel or an exotic woman from some faraway land? Maybe a famous movie star or teen pop queen? If you’re like most women, your immediate response likely had to do with outer beauty. Tan, toned, and sculpted — the All American dream girl.

We encourage you to take some time to research what is considered beautiful in different parts of the world, or in different eras of time. You will be pleasantly surprised by the diverse results of such a search. The idea of what is outwardly beautiful changes like the seasons. For some summer is best, while others choose winter as their favorite. And, of course, there are fans of fall and spring. So it is with the concept of beauty, especially if we are deriving our definition from the world around us.

In 2003, the winner of a beauty contest in Burkina Faso’s capital, Ouagadougou (Africa) weight 257 lbs. This contest was a stark contrast to the Miss World Competition which was held at the same time in China.

According to several sources, in the 1890’s a plump body and pale complexion was considered attractive as those features were supposed to represent wealth and a refined indoor lifestyle.

While at the letslookbeautiful.com website we discovered varying beauty ideals explored in detail. For example, in Asian cultures the focus in on a woman’s eyes. In the Middle East women who use more natural products for make up like henna and kohl are considered most attractive.

These are but a few ideals of what is considered beautiful. So, as you can see, we could spend countless hours, days, even weeks trying to figure out what type of “beauty” we want to be, and once again, these remedies are all outside solutions to an inside dilemma. After all, according to God’s ideal, and He is our King, beauty is more a matter of the heart. We should be more concerned about the motives of our hearts than the brand of make up we buy or jeans we try to squeeze into.

God’s Word clearly explains:

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30 NIV

Do not let your adornment be merely outward-arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel. Rather let it be the hidden, person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the
sight of the Lord. 1 Peter 3:3-4 NKJV

Rather, clothe yourself with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature. Romans 13:14 NIV

I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braded hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. I Timothy 2:9-10 NIV

I love the definitions of modesty and self control provided by an online article featured on Crosswalk.com appropriately titled: Fashion and Following the Savior. “Modesty: ‘Propriety: The avoidance of clothing and adornment that is extravagant, showy, and sexually enticing.’” Self Control: “’Restraint, moderation for the purpose of purity.’”

Now this doesn’t mean we can’t dress nice and fashionably. In fact, I think as daughters of the King of the Universe that representing Him well in appearance is very important. In fact, our dress can even reflect our inner qualities. For example, if I’m focused on purity, loyalty, serving God, helping others stay focused the Savior and God’s love, dressing like a wild woman is not an accurate representation of those beliefs.

However, modest dress doesn’t mean wearing a turtleneck during the summer months, or a giant gunny sack the rest of the year. With wisdom, we can easily figure out what is modest, attractive and appropriate attire as modern Christian women. It is probably best to avoid, belly baring hip-huggers, low cut blouses, see-through dresses, and the like. Ladies, we know, don’t we?

In one of our healing classes in Restoration Ministries entitled For Women Only: Accept No Substitutes, we often offer to help a woman in the class review her wardrobe as she exchanges the lies and false promises of seduction for the eternal truths of beauty and modesty.

Ultimately, if we clothe ourselves with the Fruit of God’s Spirit, we will discover that we are walking as beautiful and modest women of God, no longer vying for the sinful Seductive Mask.

The Story of a Friend

Ruth, the Moabite woman — a widow, sister, and beloved daughter-in-law — she was a woman who reflected beauty and modesty both inside out. Her noble character is fully demonstrated in her friendships and relationships. Therefore, an examination of her life will prove helpful in understanding the benefits of wearing a new God-ordained identity.

Imagine, if you will, that you married into a family that did not share your personal religious beliefs or your social customs. You have possibly risked judgment and ridicule from your family and friends by adopting the seemingly strange foreign practices of your new husband and his relatives. After all, observing specific religious ceremonies play a magnified role in your life.

Overtime, you become more and more fascinated with the spiritual beliefs of your husband and his parents. You find yourself drawn to the miraculous tales of a sea parting and a monstrous ark carrying Noah, his family, and all the earth’s animals to safety. The idea of a loving, consuming, and all-knowing God becomes more inviting as the years drift by.

Sadly, your father-in law and your husband perish, and Naomi, your faithful mother-in-law, a woman who is now closer to you than your own mother, gently encourages you to return to your family of origin as she plans to journey back to her homeland in Judah.

At this point in the story, Ruth’s situation has become more than a little disheartening, wouldn’t you agree?

We can’t forget she has been with her Hebrew family for over ten years. I’m certain the idea that she would be required to return to her old ways in the midst of such a tidal wave of grief sounded overwhelming.

Yet, amazingly, even after Ruth’s sister chooses to remain behind, Ruth completely separates herself from her home, her birth family, and any ties to her former pagan religion, and dutifully follows Naomi, discovering a whole new way of life.

Talk about a willingness to surrender to God’s will! In the comments Ruth makes to Naomi, her beauty and modesty shine brightly against the parched dessert landscape. Her servant’s heart is most pleasing to God and comforting to Naomi who has been left alone to fend for herself without a male relative.

Back in Bethlehem, where they finally settle, Ruth quickly follows Naomi’s direction and serves as a provider for both of them. The town folk can immediately see that Ruth is a godly woman of beauty, modesty, and integrity. She obeys the Jewish customs and gracefully fulfills her commitment to her aging mother-in-law.

We know what happens next, don’t’ we? Let’s fast forward, okay?

Ruth has begun to gather food behind the harvesters in a distant relative’s field. Upon meeting Ruth, Boaz the field’s owner, immediately senses her innocence and loyalty and provides a covering of safety.

Listen to Ruth’s unassuming response:

“At this, she bowed down with her face to the ground. She exclaimed, ‘Why have I found such favor in your eyes that you notice me — a foreigner.’”

I love Boaz’s response.

“Boaz replied, ‘I’ve been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband — how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you did not know before. May the Lord repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge.’”

Dear friends, all these blessings from this kind, respected, God-fearing, and wealthy man were due to Ruth’s godliness not her seductiveness.

Modesty can be described as humble, unpretentious, reserved, meek, gentle, mild …
Ruth fit the description perfectly. She had no need to resort the kind of shenanigans that wearers of the Seductive Mask use. Remember our fist story about Mrs. PT, Potiphar’s over-pampered bride? She didn’t get “her man” nor did she keep her husband’s attention. Surely, Potiphar suspected what his wife had been up to. If not, he would have followed protocol and put Joseph to death. I’m quite sure that the disastrous results of Mrs. PT’s failed seduction only worsened after Joseph was imprisoned.

Ruth, however, obeyed God and lived as a beautiful and modest maiden who was ultimately rescued by Boaz, her Kinsman Redeemer. By refusing to be a scheming seductress, Ruth received all that most women yearn for: a handsome husband, a stable home, financial security, children, and the admiration of her peers and elders. Boaz’s words express this exact sentiment:

“And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do as you ask. All my fellow townsmen know that you are a woman of noble character …"

Truly, ladies, when we live God’s Way things are much more likely to go the way we desire, and if they don’t, we can still trust that God knows best and rejoice over the fact that we didn’t compromise ourselves to get what we want. Amen!

You’re a beautiful princess, a daughter of the King, a woman of noble character, and a lady of modesty. No matter what you might have said or done in the past, God has chosen you to be His Bride. Don’t settle for less than the ultimate Bridegroom, Jesus Christ. Trade that old hollow mask for a life of worth and redemption.

To my precious Prince Charming,

Thank you for being my Kinsman Redeemer. Like Ruth, I can trust that you will care for me as I adhere to Your ways. I’m sorry for wearing the Seductive Mask. The truth is, it never even fit properly. Today, I understand that my survival does not depend on using my womanly whiles. I do not gain power or control by behaving in such an unbecoming manner. The acceptance and love that I so yearn for is found in You.

Right now, I choose to throw this filthy mask into the flames where it belongs. I refuse to reach for it again. I am trusting in You alone to meet my needs. You remind me to be anxious for nothing; after all you know my every desire and have numbered every hair on my head. Who could ever provide for me like that but you, my King?

Thank you for creating me as a woman of character. Please place other women of wisdom in my life to help love, guide, and support me as I learn to live a life free from masks.

I love you, Jesus. It is in your holy Name I pray. Amen.

Ladies, I welcome you comments. Feel free to share you thoughts and feelings about this mask, or any of the others we've explored. God bless you as you continue to "Reign Real."

The Seductive Mask

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I hope you've been gleaning insight from the recent mask entries. Today, we're going to focus on a mask that women have worn since the beginning of time, a mask that so many young women (older gals, too) continue to embrace and wear boldly today. Ladies, as daughters of the King of Kings, using our womanly wiles to achieve results is not in anyone's best interest. Unfortunately, everywhere we turn this mask is touted as the one to wear. Remember, we are to be set apart from the world. Just because "everyone else is doing it" doesn't mean we should.

The following entry is adapated from Real Women Don't Wear Masks, Carol Van Atta and Dr. Kathy Rodriguez. (Yet to be published)

Removing the Seductive Mask
A sex symbol becomes a thing.... I just hate to be a thing.
Marilyn Monroe

Just the sight of her husband’s most trusted employee, Joseph, gave Mrs. PT a reason to stop and stare. She wanted Joseph in her bed and under her control.

As the wife a prominent military commander, Mrs. PT had dozens of servants under her authority. Her household was everything she’d dreamt of as a child — well-furnished, clean, stylish, and filled with gorgeous art pieces. As a woman of wealth and influence, she was envied by many in Pharaoh’s court. Her elevated social status coupled with supervising household affairs gave her a comfortable sense of power and confidence.

However, lately, her husband had entrusted all the affairs of their estate to the new, Hebrew heartthrob, Joseph. To Mrs. PT the young man appeared to be just and fair, and more than competent in all his dealings, but to her dismay, he had taken on many of her prior responsibilities as his own. Although she knew he was doing as her husband instructed, she felt slighted, bored, and antsy.

To make matters worse, when not working, her husband, Potiphar, spent long- hours indulging in his first love — eating. Food had become his most cherished lover. Mrs. PT had not been called to his bed chamber for several months. Although he proclaimed his love to her in passing, she felt alone.

One morning, after carefully applying her best cosmetics and perfumed creams, she slipped into a revealing gown of purple silk. The fabric clung snuggly to her form, making a soft swishing sound around her muscular calves as she eagerly prowled the corridors seeking her prey. Yes, prey. She was the hunter — a pleasure hunter.

She could no longer ignore the handsome Hebrew who moved through her treasured household as if it were his own. She would show Joseph who was boss and give them both great pleasures in the process. It had been far too long since she had felt the sensations coursing through her. Seducing this young man would prove she was still an exotic beauty with the insurmountable power of persuasion. Ah, yes, the challenge was intriguing and the capture would taste even sweeter.

“Joseph …” she called huskily. “Come here, please. I need your help.”

Thankfully, our Bible hero, Joseph, did not give into his mistress’ advances. He remained loyal to his earthly master and his God.

For a seductress like Potiphar’s wife, his refusal would have sliced through her heart with the agonizing force of rejection. A woman, who uses the Seductive Mask may do so for many reasons. In this case, control was a primary reason. Although attracted to Joseph, Mrs. PT was a woman likely used to getting what she wanted. Not only would she enjoy the results of the seduction, but also, most likely, she would find the so-called “chase” even more alluring. Using her feminine whiles to enchant and capture a man would be what gave her a renewed sense of control.

The Seductive Mask has been worn since the beginning of time for numerous reasons. We could write an entire book on this particular mask. Although, as Christian women, we may not behave as blatantly as Potiphar’s wife (yet, there are many proclaiming Christians who do) we still struggle with the lies and beliefs in our society that lead us to believe this mask is still somehow worth wearing.

Embracing the Lie

Carrie Anne hurried home as fast as she possibly could with the freezing wind whipping through her open jacket, its icy fingers chilling her. She wished her coat had buttons or a secure zipper like the other children’s. Carrie Anne understood though that her mother had to work extra hard to make ends meet, but, today, her mom’s two jobs were bound to payoff. This year, her mom had promised to have a special gift waiting when Carrie Anne arrived home to celebrate her ninth birthday — just the two of them.

Surprised to see another car in the driveway, Carrie Anne approached the house with cautious anticipation. Visitors were not common in their humble household. Maybe her mom had put together a surprise party. Just the thought of such an extravagant gift caused any lingering chill to flee as her body flushed with new warmth at the thought of such an unprecedented birthday treat. After all, nine was a big year. It was her last single digit birthday.

Playing along with the potential surprise party, Carrie Anne entered the house barely breathing. She could feel her heart pounding wildly. What she saw next startled her more than a room of party guests. In the kitchen, her mom was pressed up against Ray, the nice neighbor down the street. Her mom, normally a conservative dresser was wearing a silky red robe that barely covered her full figure.

“Ray, I promise to pay you back in the next few weeks. This means so much to Carrie Anne. And if the money doesn’t come in, well, I can make sure to pay you back in a way that will more than satisfy.” She trailed her fingers down the side of Ray’s neck.
“I think I might just like that payoff better. Yeah, forget the money. When’s your next day off?” He cupped her face in his hands.

“Mom …?” Carrie Ann questioned unable to remain hidden another second. “What are you doing?”

“Oh! Carrie Ann, your home early. Happy birthday, hon.”

Ray made a quick exit leaving Carrie Anne alone with her mom. Not knowing what to say, Carrie Anne fled to her room.

Later that evening after presenting Carrie Ann with a brand new winter jacket, her mother shared the following with her nine year old daughter.

“Honey, I’m sorry you had to see that. It’s just something that women gotta do when times get tough, or they need something. Men really like to spend time with pretty ladies. We have a gift, you know — the gift of persuasion. You’ll see when you get older. Survival is hard for a woman raising a kid on her own. You just do what you have to in order to make ends meet. Did you like you new coat?”

That image remained with Carrie Anne through grade school, middle school, and eventually, in high school, when her mom couldn’t always afford the things she wanted, Carrie Anne decided to put her mom’s theory to the test. She was amazed that she could actually get what she wanted and needed simply by acting seductively. Sure, she ended up crossing lines that she had promised herself she wouldn’t, but the payoff was worth it; wasn’t it?

Hopefully, you know the answer to that final question Carrie Anne asked. The payoff is never worth the spiritual, emotional, and even physical pricetags we end up paying when we wear the seductive mask.

Join me next time for more about this mask and how to wear Beauty and Modesty instead.