The Month of Love ...

Conflict is a part of life; it is a part of human history. A study reported in the Canadian Army Journal regarding the frequency of human conflicts came up with this interesting statistic – since 3600 B.C. the world has only known 292 years of peace. During this period there have been 14,531 wars, large and small, in which 3,640,000,000 people have been killed.

What does conflict have to do with Love? A whole lot if you're a Princess Warrior for Christ attempting to reign real, with love, in a world that is riddled with conflict.

Love is always a big topic during the month of February. After all, the one, the only ... Valentine's Day falls on the 14th of this month. People that don't spend a great deal of time focused on loving are forced to acknowledge its existence for at least one day. For us as daughters of the King, love is is a trait that is to flow through our lives not just one day, but every day! Unfortunately, as fallible human beings, loving doesn't always come naturally or easily. In fact, relationships are just plain hard. Don't I know!

Recently, there was a conflict between my daughter and one of her friends. Being the type that takes very seriously the "don't let the sun go down on your anger" command, I wanted to resolve this situation in the quickest most effective manner. Unfortunately, the situation between the girls deteriorated rapidly. Not good, considering the girls are both in the same classroom. Ten year old girls are at that "tween" stage and gossiping and all that "mean girl" stuff is beginning to rear its ugliness. Both girls nabbed their own "supporters" and the battle was on.

To make a long story short (forgive the cliche') I tried to intervene with the mother, who is a big fan of let's just pretend the other person doesn't exist all in the name of personal boundaries. So we've got her daughter ignoring mine and my daughter obsessively pushing for reconciliation. Somewhere in the middle there was a place of balance that we all managed to miss.

Sadly, the other mom and myself had a not-so-nice conversation. I stopped loving and started responding in anger. Granted, I felt strongly about her opinion, but as a Christian woman I am required to act differently than women in the world. For a few brief minutes, during a heated phone conversation, I didn't represent my King very well. What she said may not have been okay, but that's not the point. I'm to exhibit love and compassion. I became a defensive mama bear. Needless to say, we both had our claws out and the phone call didn't end well. At all.

Although, that sinful human side of me wants to plead my case to anyone who will listen, I have chosen to seek support solely from my mother and one close friend. Although I don't like her behavior (nor mine) it is critical that I take this situation to Christ and pray for blessings on her and her family. Not easy to do in the midst of conflict.

Conflict. No semi-sane person enjoys it. But every person at some time or another will be in the middle of it. The above statistics make that quite clear. However, our goal as Princess Warriors is the fight the right battle. Love is our best weapon. On our knees in prayer is the preferred battle stance. Sisters, let us remember to forgive, love, and pray. We can go to God with all our complaints and feelings rather than gossiping to others. We can clean up our side of the street regardless of what dirt remains on the other side.

I'm guessing you might have a current conflict, or have had one in the recent past. If so, how are you handling everything? Are you using the right weapons? If not, maybe you, like me, need to ask for God's love to diffuse the negative situation.

Right now, I'm reading a wonderful book about resolving conflict by Joyce Meyers. I highly recommend it to anyone. Based on Scripture, Joyce shares wisdom and provides a plan of action to help you release conflict and avoid strife. http://www.amazon.com/Conflict-Free-Living-Joyce-Meyer/dp/1599790629 is the link to Amazon's page about this title if you're interested.

Let us love without limits as Princess Warriors for Christ.

Watch for more posts on love in the days ahead.

A Princess Warrior's Words

Don't let Satan hijack your words (tongue)!

I know. The picture is REALLY unsettling. But I feel like God is REALLY trying to get my attention and maybe yours, too. I suspect this disgusting picture did just that.

However, it makes a powerful statement, doesn't it? Sometimes, maybe more than we'd care to admit, what comes out of our mouths is just as disgusting. The book of James talks about that one little organ -- our tongue -- causing so many problems. What we say cannot be erased ... ever. Once said, always said. Certainly, we can apologize for our misspoken words and confess, yet the consequences may remain far into the future as scars on another person's heart.

This time of year, for a number of reasons, people tend to get more stressed. Holidays can bring out the worst in some folks. Maybe, for whatever reason, it brings out some ickiness in you. For me, my finances are tighter than most years. I vacillate between trusting God as my Provider and attempting to figure money stuff out on my own. You can probably guess that on my own, I don't do so well. Stress can quickly escalate into words that seem to pop (or as in the above picture) slither out of our mouths. For what resides inside seems to spill into the world around us.

At church this past weekend, our pastor, Mr. Creative, himself, walked around the room with a big canvass bag. He asked us unsuspecting church goers to stick our hands in and see if we could figure out what lay inside. Well, being a daring Princess Warrior, I took the "feel" challenge. Ew-w-w-e! A nasty slimy blob resided in that bag. Please Note: He did provide a squirt of hand sanitizer following each person's turn.

Are you wondering what this was? I sure was. Our pastor used to be a youth pastor so he is very adept at using highly visual and impacting illustrations to make a point. Okay, okay ... it was a cow tongue. Seriously. Well-washed and cleaned up, but still a big, gross, ugly tongue. Can you guess what he was talking about? Uh huh ... the harm a tongue can cause. He waved that thing around and we all had a very powerful reminder of what a tongue can do. So powerful, I'm still sharing about it.

The lesson was good, though. We have got to stop wounding others with our words. Praise God if you don't have an issue with this. If that's the case, I challenge you to pray for those of us that do. Although, considering this was a topic God saw fit to include in the Bible, I suspect most of us struggle with it now and again.

So, what do we do?

Even though it sometimes feels like words just explode from our mouths without a sane thought on our part, there is always a preceding thought and time to make a choice. I know in the heat of the battle it can be difficult to push the PAUSE BUTTON. But that is exactly what we need to do.

My daughter came home this summer from church camp wearing a pin-on-button that said PAUSE. This button was to serve as a reminder for her to think before acting. Friends, we all need a pause button. If purchasing a button helps ... do it. After all, Jesus tells us to cut off our hand if it causes us to sin. Personally, I'd prefer wearing a button over loosing my tongue.

All humor aside. We've all been wounded by words and we've all injured others. Keeping our mouths clean is a must for every Princess Warrior for Christ.

Practical Tips:

1. Pray for God's supernatural help and strength to help you pause before speaking.

2. If you have to, cover your mouth with your hand and/or walk away rather than blurting out something unsavory.

3. Ask if what you plan to say would glorify God.

4. Make sure everything that comes out of your mouth is encouraging to others.

5. Ask if you'd say that if you were face to face with Jesus. (Ouch!)

6. Manage your stress ahead of time by spending time in prayer, worship, and talking with others about your problems. By alleviating stress you will be better equipped to converse calmly without anxiety and worry tainting your words.

7. When you mess up. (Not if, when) Admit your mistake, immediately. Ask God for forgiveness and repent. Turn again from your sin and move forward, making restitution for any harm caused.

I've fallen short a lot in this area, lately. My daughter is really good at pushing buttons other than the Pause Button, if you know what I mean. She is experienced at pushing my personal buttons. It's time for me to disengage those buttons and respond as Christ would, with love and truth, balanced and in harmony with each other.

We belong to a royal priesthood, a holy nation of God. Our words matter. We can use our mouths to bless or curse. Let's choose to bless. Amen?!

Happy early Thanksgiving.

Removing the Tough Girl Mask

In today’s modern society, aggressive women who wear Tough Girl masks are frequently admired and promoted to positions of power and prestige. Their toughness is regularly mistaken for inner strength. Remember the movie Grease’s Pink Lady Rizzo — outwardly tough, but like a marshmallow inside. Like all tough girls, her mask was not a true reflection of what existed just beneath the surface.

Unfortunately, strong women are often compared to men, even adapting more masculine traits. This is not what godly strength is about. Not even close.

We were not created to be a Ms. or Mrs. Rambo in a skirt. Nor are we supposed to be timid little things daintily tiptoeing through life. Instead, we are to remove our Tough Girl masks and instead wear godly strength and gentleness.

Although these two qualities seem incompatible, in God’s scheme of things, they fit together like two missing puzzle pieces, making an ideal replacement for any façade of toughness.

I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. — Matthew 10:16 NIV —

We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so you will have all the endurance and patience you need.
— Colossians 1:11 NLT —

She is clothed with strength and dignity…
— Proverbs 31:25a TNIV —

Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.
— Isaiah 12:2 NIV —

…but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
— Isaiah 40:31 —

The Story of a Queen

Consider the lovely Queen Esther, a perfect example of these two desirable characteristics — gentleness and strength.

Raised by her cousin, Mordecai, to be a faithful Jewish maiden, Esther was likely terrified when the King of Persia’s messengers thundered into the Jewish quarter seeking young virgins to fill the King’s harem, and eventually, a queen to grace an empty throne.

The knowledge of former Queen Vashti’s abrupt banishment would have spread throughout the kingdom by this time, leaving the local maidens fearful, and possibly hopeful. There were, certainly, plenty of ambitious ladies donning their Tough Girl masks and eager to take charge of the situation at the castle. After all, this was a position of power and prestige for a woman like none other, and I suspect feelings ranged from outright horror to unspeakable glee at the possibility of becoming King Xerxes chosen bride.

Taken from her humble home into a lavish palace of immeasurable wealth, Esther was forced to rely solely upon her religious training and relationship with God to survive the culture shock her new surroundings were bound to bring, not to mention, the uncertain future she faced. If not selected as queen, Esther would spend the remainder of her days as a concubine in the King’s harem.

Amazingly, something more than Esther’s exquisite beauty caught the attention of her handler. Her quiet strength, gentleness, and wisdom, apparently outshone that of the other girls.

Remember, these exotic beauties came from every corner of Persia’s’ expansive empire. Lack of “good looks” was not an issue for the women selected. Esther, however, stood apart from the rest. Her demeanor eventually won her the crown and special place in her husband’s heart. Esther had found favor with God and the King of Persia — favor that would soon be tested. Thanks to one of Xerxes’ right hand men, the evil Haman, the day to exterminate the Jews of Persia had been set. The verdict was signed, sealed, and then delivered throughout the kingdom.

Esther’s gentle strength and faith would be put to the test like never before. Even today, Mordecai’s words to his beloved cousin turned regal queen, echo through the corridors of history:

For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this? — Esther 4:14 NIV

Her response?

Fast.

Pray.

Prepare.

Plotting, manipulating, and acting tough were not part of Esther’s wise plan. Instead, Esther approached her earthly sovereign with strength and gentleness, until she reached his throne, where she bowed before him, awaiting the sting of metal against her neck, or the gentle touch of a scepter.

I picture Esther daring to glance up, meeting the eyes of the man who knows every curve of her body and the deepest thoughts of her soul. I imagine Persia’s powerful ruler, gazing at his bride, somewhat puzzled, yet intrigued by her boldness — boldness bathed in Esther’s gentleness. How could he not lower the scepter?

I can easily imagine the gasps of relief and a few muddled cries of disbelief as she reaches out to touch the tip of the jewel-encased staff. More importantly, I can hear deep in my spirit the thundering applause that shook the heavenlies on that fateful day so many centuries ago.

We can learn much from Esther. An orphan raised by a cousin. A teenager kidnapped by an at times ruthless political system. A woman forced to face death not only for her own survival, but also for the survival of her people. A woman that wore strength and gentleness rather than hiding behind a Tough Girl Mask.

In spite of Esther’s life circumstances, she was able to rely on God and the people He strategically placed around her. Although she alone had to face her king, she had thousands praying for her.

Removing false faces and mistaken masks isn’t a do-it-alone project. Rather, it’s a do- it-with-God journey — a journey that involves prayer, fasting, wise council, and loving support. God’s Word will become your guidebook to growth. Jesus will serve as your living example to follow. The Holy Spirit will empower you to let go of old masks and embrace new ways of living as a “real” woman of God.

Let’s pray.

Lord, You have created each and every one of us for such a time as this. I may not have a kingdom to save, but I do have a special purpose that is equally as important and uniquely suited to me.

Right now, I ask you to help me remove the Tough Girls mask. I’ve been trying to hide from the pain and heartache in my life. I’ve been pretending to be someone I was never created to be. I’ve acted in controlling, aggressive, and possibly even violent ways. I’ve been afraid to let others see my hurting heart.

Today, I choose to start a process of healing. I desire to put on the strength and gentleness that comes from You. Like Esther, I face many things. Like her, I desire to do so with integrity and without hiding any longer. I’m reaching out my hand to You, Lord. I trust You to help as I remove my mask. In Your Name I pray, Jesus. Amen.