Vampires, Werewolves, teenage love … oh my!

Hello all! Long time (again) since I’ve blogged. That’s all about to change. It’s time for this Princess Warrior for Christ to start encouraging and challenging other Princess Warriors to be all they can be as daughters of the King. When I challenge you, guess what? I end up challenging myself to live life for Christ on a deeper level. It kind of works like that doesn’t it? We tend to teach what we need to be taught, or we get to share about things we’ve overcome by the grace of God.

So, the new format will be as follows.

At first, you may get a little update about my personal life.

Secondly, I will pick a topic or theme related to Christian living, an attribute or behavior that brings God glory, and expound on that. I may also feature a theme that relates to something we might be better off avoiding, if you know what I mean.

At least one scripture will be referenced and I will include a real life story or anecdote that helps us better embrace the topic, OR I’ll write a fiction scenario to depict what we’re exploring. If there is a resource or book that might help us in relation to the topic, I’ll make sure to share it with all of you. With that in mind …

Why wait? Let’s start, shall we?

My personal note: It is Thanksgiving evening. I am thankful for so many things … my relationship with God, my family, and friends. My job. My home. My ministry. I really, for the most part, like my life. Despite the financial challenges (and they’re big ones) and issues with my kids, I am still grateful.

When I had the swine flu something happened spiritually speaking. My misery drew me closer to God, the only place I could find even a smidgen of comfort. I did a lot of silent praying and God in His perfect wisdom responded in ways that continue to astound me. I’m getting ready to head out of town with my daughter. We were invited to travel with a dear friend and her daughter who is the same age as mine. Road trip! Tomorrow, bright and early, we’ll be on our way to Klamath Falls, Oregon. We’ve heard there may be some of that cold white stuff covering the ground. Just the potential of snow has the girls in a tizzy. Personally, I’m okay with a book, fire in the fireplace, and the gorgeous view we get to soak in. That’s my new news in the condensed format.

I’m sure some of you are bemoaning your over-stuffed bellies and wondering what vampires and werewolves have to do with our Christian walk. Add teenage love to that and it sounds like I’ve lost my mind. Stay with me.

None of us can fully avoid the latest phenomenon that’s running rampant in the media – Twilight, New Moon, the Cullen family of vampires, and a pack of handsome young werewolves, are on the minds of more than a few gals – both young and older. Much older! I’ll admit that I, too, have seen the movie and read the books.

When you have a preteen who is eager to embrace what society is spitting out, you tend to take it upon yourself to investigate. After reading, I’m not so worried about the war between vampires and werewolves. I think most of us are pretty clear that that particular battle won’t be happening anywhere but on the Big Screen or in the pages of the nation’s bestselling book series. Seriously, I’m not bothered by all that. What concerns me, big time, and more so with the latest movie installment – New Moon – is the addictive, codependent nature of Bella’s (the heroine) and Edward’s (vampire love interest) relationship.

Do I need to give background? I doubt it. I suspect if you haven’t see the movie or read the books, you know enough about the storyline to follow along.

For some reason, I really noticed the problematic theme to their relationship in this newest movie. They’ve been dating now for some time. She is human. He is a vampire. Good girl. Bad boy. We all know that story. There’s just something that seems to be engrained in most women that leads us to desire (secretly for the most part) that “bad boy” image. That’s a topic I don’t even have time to start on.

Anyway, what I noticed as I sat through the first half of New Moon was the pathetic, anguished, never-joyful love Edward and Bella shared. Geeze! If it hurt so much why bother? That’s the problem, though, isn’t it? From soap operas, to nighttime dramas, romance novels, and the Big Screen movies, we’ve been conditioned to think that being in love mean being in pain. Even when Edward and Bella kiss they look like they need a strong pain killer. Where’s the joy? Maybe a big smile now and then might be nice.

I know. I know. Some of you are saying, but Carol they don’t have sex and teenaged love is mushy, after all. That’s great. I can appreciate those points. However, when Edward leaves, we are forced to watch Bella dive into a depression so deep she can barely keep from drowning. And I don’t mean for a few weeks, or even a month, but for months and months and months. She becomes the walking dead. Her whole existence is wrapped up in her feelings for her vampire beau. She even starts to do crazy, dangerous stunts so she can hallucinate about him, and people find that romantic. Scary, huh?

Granted, she’s not the only one looking gloomy. Edward apparently can’t function either. In fact, he plans to kill himself when he believes that she is dead. This whole Romeo/Juliet love thing, with suicide as an option, is just plain evil. When we put a person and relationship ahead of God, we’re in big trouble.

This movie sends a very specific message to young girls everywhere. When you’re in love, nothing else matters but the object of your affection. You can’t possibly survive without that person. Love is supposed be filled with pain, heartache, and anguish, along with strong doses of insecurity and fear.

Am I making too much of a teenage love story? I don’t think so.

God’s Word says specifically:
“Do not worship any other gods besides me.” Exodus 20:3 NLT

When our world revolves another person, place, or thing, we are quite simply said: worshipping that person, place, or thing. Some people worship their wealth, others their careers, and some their cars, the list could go on for miles. For many women, men and relationships are the focus of their worship. If we feel that we cannot survive without a certain someone or something, we just might be in trouble.

I’m not downplaying real love. Godly love is a beautiful thing. Godly love is good for you, though. Consider the following words about addictive love versus what the author calls authentic love:

ADDICTIVE LOVE SAYS:

1. I can’t live without you. You give my life meaning.
2. You make me feel valuable. When I am with you, I am somebody.
3. I can’t make it on my own. I’m helpless without you.
4. I want you to be a total part of my life, and I want to be a total part of yours.
5. All of the hard times are worth the good times. I will be here forever, no matter what happens, no matter how terrible or harmful you are for me.
6. I can’t bear to think of you sharing your thoughts and feelings with someone else. You are the only one who has ever understood me.
7. You should be sensitive to all my needs. I have feelings you should take into consideration before you do anything.
8. If you really care, you will treat me the way I want. Your job is to make me feel good.

AUTHENTIC LOVE SAYS:

1. I can live without you, but I chose not to.
2. I am a valuable person, and you affirm that value to me.
3. I can make it on my own. Having you as part of my life makes it easier, or more fulfilling.
4. We are two separate people with two individual lives to lead. I encourage you to pursue interests, and I will pursue mine. This kind of space and diversity is good for us.
5. I believe love should seek another’s highest good. To the best of my ability, I will do that for you, even if sometimes I fail.
6. We are richer for sharing our lives with other people. I encourage you to have other friendships.
7. Mutuality is the glue that holds us together. I enjoy you, and in that enjoyment, I find that many of my needs for importance, belonging, and intimacy are met.
8. I will accept the way you show me you care about me. Sometimes I may have to ask you about your actions, but generally, I will take at face value what you say and do.

I wish I could give credit to someone for coming up with those descriptions, but I can’t for the life of me recall where it came from. It makes some very valuable points that both non-Christians and Christians can both easily relate to.

The Bottom line remains: As Princess Warriors for Christ, our love and attention, first and foremost should be on our Heavenly King – Jesus Christ. He is the ultimate Source of real, authentic love. We can never think too much about Him. When we’re filled with His love we are better equipped to truly love those around us. He will also give us the strength to continue when we lose someone we love deeply.

My final thought: If you plan to watch the Twilight saga with a younger woman or teenager, why not discuss the nature of true, healthy love and where it ultimately comes from – an intimate relationship with Christ. In addition, point out that being in love isn’t supposed to be filled with excruciating, gut-wrenching pain. Our special person should lift us up, bring us joy, and most importantly draw us closer to God.

Hurts, Hang ups, and Habits

Hurts, hang ups, and habits: three "H" words we are all plagued by in one form or another.

We all carry hurts from our pasts, struggle with annoying hang ups, and sometimes dangerous habits. As Princess Warriors for Christ, it is critical that we find ways to release our hurts, hang ups, and habits to our King, trading them for freedom, righteousness, and peace.

As I've shared before, in my past, I was held captive by some very serious habits. Addicted to drugs, destructive relationships, and a horrible disposition that included anger, rage, depression, and fear, I wasn't very fun to be around. Needless to say, freedom was but a fantasy until I found my Savior, Jesus Christ. The funny thing, though, as we release and surrender specific H-words that haunt us, more seem to reveal themselves. Kind of like the peeling of an onion, layer after layer, the onion unravels revealing yet another layer. So it is with our lives.

Maybe you've dealt with your tendency to overspend, overeat, overreact, you fill in the blank -- we all over do something, don't we? But I have a suspicion that you, too, like me find that there are still other hurts, hang ups, and habits to deal with.

God has led me into a new season of healing. As a person in leadership, who councils others, and speaks to women, it is easy to focus on others. I love giving away God's glorious goodies. Yet, sometimes, more often would be better, I need to slow down and evaluate the sinfulness that has crept up in my own life.

A few weeks ago, I visited a wonderful, Christ-centered program that helps people deal with their "H words." In fact, that's where I first heard of the horrible H-Trio (hurts, hang ups, and habits). The program, Celebrate Recovery, is designed for any person seeking greater healing and freedom in his or her life. Some of their options are recovery from: chemical dependency and alcohol, food addiction (that's the one I joined), Codependency issues, past hurts and emotional trauma, etc. In other words, there are plenty of places to "fit in." I think a majority of us, if we're honest with ourselves, might be able to relate to more than one category. I know I did.

Certainly, not everyone will like this particular program or format, but I have to say, I've been diving into my Bible and going deeper than ever. That can't be a bad thing! Regardless, we all need others to walk with us on our journey of healing. Like Esther, who had to go through a long year of preparation and training prior to becoming queen, we, too, must prepare to serve our Lord and King as Princess Warriors. This isn't a one time deal, either. It is a process of growth, little by little, that brings us closer to our calling. Once we complete one task successfully, God will surely have more for us to accomplish.

So, again I ask you - what hurts, hang ups, and habits are getting in the way of you successfully reigning real for Christ? Is there an area of bondage, a bad attitude, an unhealthy habit that keeps you from more of Him? Don't try and hide it; find a safe person, program, group, to share and partner with as you prepare to follow Christ to a whole new level. As humans, in a fallen world where sin rules, we need all the help we can get. In order to help others reign real, we must allow others to help us.

If you're interested in learning more about Celebrate Recovery just follow the link.

http://www.celebraterecovery.com/?page_id=4

God bless you Princess Warriors.

Fix My Heart ... it's Damaged

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSc3NRxgNkA

Before you read any further, follow the above link to YouTube and listen to the song. The lyrics are the only thing you'll see accompanying the song. Then come back!

Have you ever had a broken heart? Yes, I know, it's a rhetorical question; considering at some point we've all suffered a broken heart -- most of us more than one. Unfortunately, after the fall of Adam and Eve, relationships have never been the way God intended, and, today, our world has skewed male/female relationships to the point they're becoming unrecognizable.

As a teenager, when I was in the height of my addictive behaviors, I thought the institution of marriage was a joke. I was all about free love and lived by the "if it feels good do it" motto. I wasn't alone, either. It wasn't difficult to find others who shared my distorted view of reality and relationships.

The idea of getting and staying married to one person seemed outdated, boring, and simply impossible. After all, what if you got bored? Yes, I really had such thoughts. As you can probably imagine, my relationship choices were pretty unhealthy and the results of these relationships were often heart shattering.

Let me just say, without giving my entire testimony, there were some situations in my young life that led me to believe that I was worthless, useless, and hopeless. I had a huge hole in my heart that was hungry for love, attention, acceptance, and approval. I wanted to be the coolest, prettiest, most popular, and most intriguing girl around. In order to gain friends (mostly boyfriends) I did some things that went against my values and beliefs. Eventually, my values and beliefs changed drastically to support my actions. Sin is like that. Over time, we harden our hearts, and the abnormal becomes normal.

My heart was damaged. I tried many remedies to patch it up. Maybe you can relate?

Food, stuff, boyfriends and later men, drugs, thrill seeking, the occult, anything that might provide an escape or pleasurable experience became my solutions to heart hunger. Nothing filled me up. Happiness always remained elusive and out of reach. The harder I tried to find the magic "it" whatever it might be, the worse I felt.

I believe that we all hunger and thirst for SOMETHING, something more. Unfortunately, the things that the world, via the media, serves up to feed our appetites will cause us severe indigestion, and, ultimately, lead to hearts that need fixing.

In the song above, Damaged, the women singing are pleading for someone to "fix it, fix it, fix it ..." Sadly, they are simply looking for another man to bandage their hearts. How many bandages and "fixes" can one heart take? At some point, the pain gets to be to much and nothing of this world can repair it.

Thankfully, as Princess Warriors for Christ, we have the ultimate Physician and Heart Healer in our lives. He stands ready to make us brand new. Jesus doesn't save us then slap a few Band Aids on our hearts. Oh, no! He performs surgery on our souls. If we let Him.


That's the beauty of our King. He's not a ruthless ruler. He is all-powerful, yet He is loving. We can choose to climb on the gurney ... or not.

Precious Princesses, we have so much to accomplish for His Kingdom. If we continue to seek man-made remedies to fix our soul sicknesses, we will end up helpless in the face of evil. We are in a spiritual war where every believer -- man, woman, and child -- must learn to reign real, brandishing truth and grace. If we're too wounded to even walk in righteousness, how can we possibly fight the good fight of faith?


If we're still waiting for a man or relationship to "fix us" and fill us up, we're in serious trouble. Please, sisters, allow the only One with the power to save serve as your Savior. Jesus is mighty to save. He is the only Source of fulfillment that will truly sustain us.


Let's throw off the sin that so easily entangles us and accept God's healing and hope.


Please consider the following two articles in relation to relationships, marriage, and the topic of love addiction.

http://christianwomentoday.com/closet/codependency.html and

http://retirementwithapurpose.com/relationships/godsgift.html


Please, go watch the video below. There is Someone who is mighty to save and who will heal your broken heart. Just let Him.

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/laura-story-mighty-to-save/3787243329